I honestly don't know, but I am going to try.
It was time.
Time for me to go back to work. I have to say right up front that I have never been one to want to go back into work. I LOVED staying at home and
After many applications and three interviews, I got a job at the high school as a special educational assistant.
Boy, was I excited! And a bit not knowing what to expect.
This job is such a mixed bag:
*I haven't loved and disliked a job on such a level before.
*Some days, some minutes, actually some seconds you can feel so content and full then feel frustrated and mad the very next.
*Some kids make your day, not matter what. Other kids...well...you get the picture.
*I have felt to humbled by the intensity of the job and at the same time empowered.
*I don't see certain "duties" as a bother at all anymore.
The first week I was sorta tossed into it. Thankfully there was a lady that start the same day. I felt so much like a fish out of water for two days. Now I feel like I have been there much, much longer than two weeks. I have had so many great, funny conversations with a nonverbal student, changed teenage boy diapers, pushed and pushed wheelchairs around (my poor hamstrings screamed on day 3), broken up a few fights, ran after a couple of "runners", been hugged, kissed, drooled on, pinched, scratched, bruised (sometimes all in the same day), cooked with them, cleaned with them, learn more things than I thought I'd ever learn at this job.
I feel tougher. I have felt broken down. I feel fuller. I have felt like giving up. I have gotten so connected to the students. And yet when one or two of them are absent golly, it is so much calmer.
I really like the the people I work with. I love the kids in our class, even the hard ones. I do miss being at home, but am getting a routine. I don't know how long I am going to work, but man do Fridays take on a-whole-nother meaning these days.