where were you?

i know that ALL over the web, radio and tv the talk is about 9/11.  i for one was getting "tired" of it, a bit, if i may be honest.  however, i did watch two videos this morning that brought me back to that morning.

i remember it was around 8-ish here.
i was getting our daughter and myself breakfast.  (i don't even remember where our son was at that time.)
for some reason i was chatting with my sister-in-law in the phone.
the radio was on...NPR.
i remember as my SIL was talking hearing the words on the radio announce that the first plane had struck the  tower.
i mentioned it to my SIL.
like so many other people didn't think too much of it.
then the second one struck.
i felt like the rug was pulled out from under me.
i told her to turn on her radio and what had just happened.
we hung up.
i remember thinking, what in the world?
i don't remember if i called hubby or not.
only i was in a numb state.
(what will happen now?  what does this mean?  will hubby be called back into service?)
even though we were far from the scenes i felt unsafe.
daughter was in kindergarten and it was half day.
i took her to school, numbly going through our routine.
there, i noticed there wasn't as many people.
one mom and i talked.
she being an air force wife felt the sting even more.
i remember her telling me. "that bringing the kids to school is good.  it keeps them in there routine."
i think hubby came home early.
we went to a friend's house to watch it all on tv. 
those images are FOREVER etched into my heart.

after a few days of being glued to the radio and internet, flags showing up everywhere, one vision sticks in my head...
i was at the school dropping of daughter when a few jets flew overheard from our air force base.
those jets, those pilots became real to me.
i remember thinking, that jet noise sure holds a lot more weight.
and those pilots may go and fight and never come back.
sobering.

how has 9/11 changed me?
while my flag isn't flying as much i would like to think i have more of an American pride.a level of safety was taken and still lingers.
honestly, i feel a certain uneasiness, distrust towards a certain race of people.
i hope though that the events of 9/11 have brought some sort of maturity.
i feel more connected to past generations who have seen and lived through similar events.
i say thank you to more military personnel now.

as i end this post, i know that America is still divided on so many fronts.
i know that the world we live in is different than 10 years ago.
i also know that God is still in control and it is upon Him i stand.

God bless America today and every day.