I have heard more than once that having children "naturally" is much easier than adopting.
While so far it hasn't been harder, it is definitely a different journey.
In an ideal world, two people fall in love, marry and start a family.
When you're pregnant you know where your baby is, you know, about, when
you will get to meet him or her.
I find myself thinking about our child somewhere out there.
I pray that he/she is safe, not hungry, not scared.
I pray that it won't be too long of a wait until we get matched and get to pick up our child, for all of our sakes.
In an ideal world, there is you and your spouse in the whole bringing a child into the world and your lives process. Throw in a doctor or two.
With adoption, there's a whole bunch of people. People who have your paperwork sitting on their desk, etc.
You have to pass the ball back and forth, hoping they don't drop it along the way.
In an ideal world, there wouldn't be any adoptions.
It hit me that we are benefiting from others misfortunes.
Another thing is when you have a baby, most of the time people are happy for you. They don't say "Oh, that's great that you are pregnant..." and try to up the anty one or two notches.
When adopting they do. "Oh, that's great that you're adopting and you want a child with Down syndrome. Would you take a child with (name any form mild to severe handicap, mental and physical)?" They proceed to make you feel guilty for not wanting to open your arms to any and every situation.
Here's where my relationship with God and hubby come in.
I know God has called us to raise Down syndrome children. I have tried to shake it and can't.
I know He has a child for us already.
I know He will keep that child safe and give us what we need for that child.
My hubby is my anchor.
He is keeping me focused and not feeling guilty for not taking in every child they offer.
As he put it, "I can't see us having a typical child. I see us with a child with Downs."
I am glad I can trust God and rely on my hubby.