Friday, May 25, 2012

The Baby We Prayed For pt 1

I got stirred again to write about our kid's birth stories and pour out my heart.  I started this morning and have 5 1/2 front and back handwritten pages done.  And I am not even close to being done!

Here's how is goes.  This is the rough draft that maybe you'll read in a published book one day!  heehee

"Just wait on God", "It's all in God's timing", a couple of ladies would tell me when I told them how bad I wanted to have our first baby.  I was ready.

     I will never forget that day, that night.  As I read and reread through the pages of What to Expect When You're Expecting over and over, looking for answers.  I knew something wasn't right.  I knew it in my heart.  I called our midwife and explained to her what  I was feeling,  I didn't really know what it was or quite how to explain it, other then the tightness in my belly and the urges I in my pregnant body weren't right.  She rushed over, praying as she came to the train tracks that she wouldn't be delayed.
     When she came I was both scared and relieved.  Scared because I knew in my heart what was happening and I didn't want to go there.  Relieved because here was someone who just had her 10th baby herself.  She knew about these things.  I was comforted by her presence, her experience and her being a woman.
     It was night time.  We all, hubby, midwife and I, filed into our bedroom.  The room where I was supposed to deliver out first born.  The baby we prayed for.
     Our rented house was a quaint older Victorian style house.  It had a big green porch and a wide entry way.  Rosettes were in the corners of the trim.  There were three bedroom, one of which we used as a living room.  Our kitchen was the biggest we ever had.  Funny thing was the top cabinets didn't have any doors.  We joke about it all of the time.  "A cabinet makers home has no cabinet doors."  The dining room was the center of the house.  Every room stemmed from it.  The one bathroom was even awkwardly located right off of the dining room.  No hiding there.  Also, off of the dining room was the baby's room.  I little, cozy room with a lot of character and a glass paned door.  Perfect for our coming baby.
     As our midwife got set to check me and to see what was going on I remember sitting on our bed, on the comforter my mother-in-law made for us as a wedding gift.  The colors vivid in my memory.  Peach a green shapes all lovingly stitched together.
     It didn't take our midwife long to determine I needed to go to the hospital.  I was in labor.  I was just 5 1/2 months pregnant, 20-22 weeks pregnant.  Too early to be in labor.
     I don't remember much of what I was thinking.  I don't know if Robert and I talked or prayed or just sat in numbed silence on the ride to the hospital.  I do know the my gut was right all along.  I was indeed in labor.
     Our midwife, who called ahead, met us at the hospital.  She told me to wait for a wheel chair.  Not knowing any better or wanting to stay in as much control of the situation as possible I declined.  There was an uncomfortable silence in the elevator ride up to the top, the third floor.  It all felt surreal.  So much like a bad dream and wanted desperately to wake up from.

1 comment:

Landi said...

Firstly I just want to thank you for sharing such a personal time in your life, I am sure it took a lot of courage. Secondly I want to tell you what an amazing and talented lady you are. I knew already that you are so creative and a fantastic designer, but now I realize that you also have a wonderful talent for painting word pictures. Thanks again for sharing.