I have some nuggets about the adoption process I need to jot down, but it is late and I need to be in bed.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
what can i say?
I have some nuggets about the adoption process I need to jot down, but it is late and I need to be in bed.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Common Myths
This post is inspire by a conversation I recently had with a lady about Down syndrome. I believed some of these myths myself. From doing research, talking to a mom of three children with Downs and being around them what I found surprised and delighted me.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome have severe mental retardation.
FACT: Most people with Down syndrome have only mild to moderate mental retardation. Individuals with Down syndrome have IQ scores of 30 to 60, but much variation exists. More important than IQ scores is the fact that all individuals with Down syndrome are capable of learning. (I was under the impression that people with Downs have a mentality of an eight year old for the rest of their lives. WRONG!!)
MYTH: People with Down Syndrome will live at home forever.
FACT: A large percentage of adults with Down syndrome live semi-independently in assisted living facilities and group homes. Adults with Down syndrome often hold jobs and have romantic relationships.
MYTH: Most children with Down syndrome are born to older parents.
FACT: Over 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under the age of 35, and the average age of a mother of an infant with Down syndrome is 28 years.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome all have their tongue out and their mouth open.
FACT: Not so. The reason for the open mouth is not a lack of intelligence, rather a lack of muscle.
There are many more videos on Downs on YouTube.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome have severe mental retardation.
FACT: Most people with Down syndrome have only mild to moderate mental retardation. Individuals with Down syndrome have IQ scores of 30 to 60, but much variation exists. More important than IQ scores is the fact that all individuals with Down syndrome are capable of learning. (I was under the impression that people with Downs have a mentality of an eight year old for the rest of their lives. WRONG!!)
MYTH: People with Down Syndrome will live at home forever.
FACT: A large percentage of adults with Down syndrome live semi-independently in assisted living facilities and group homes. Adults with Down syndrome often hold jobs and have romantic relationships.
MYTH: Most children with Down syndrome are born to older parents.
FACT: Over 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under the age of 35, and the average age of a mother of an infant with Down syndrome is 28 years.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome all have their tongue out and their mouth open.
FACT: Not so. The reason for the open mouth is not a lack of intelligence, rather a lack of muscle.
There are many more videos on Downs on YouTube.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
How it All Got Started
Not everyone is up for adopting. For me it started at around age ten. My cousin James was in the hospital. Why, I don't remember. What I do remember is his roommate was a baby with all of his limbs broken. I just kept talking to him, touching him, etc. I didn't even pay attention to my cousin. (Sorry James.) I asked my mom what happened to the baby. She said that his mom (a big woman) sat in him and broke his limbs. Whether that was the real story or not I asked my mom if we could take him home. Of course we couldn't. The baby never left my heart. How could someone do that to a baby? I felt so helpless.
Fast forward, to marriage. Hubby knew going into our marriage that adoption was something I would like to do and we talked about it here and there. Most of the time it wasn't something real in depth, more just two people in love talking about things they'd like to do. Dreaming, some would call it.
This is the part where it gets hard to explain without writing a book. So I may just do point statements as to how God changed/worked on our hearts.
*The need to adopt became strong, for me, again about a year ago.
*I was really trying to figure out what God wanted for my life. Where He wanted me to go. I know I wanted to help people, preferably special needs kids.
*I wanted to adopt. Hubby didn't.
*I started checking into going to school and getting a degree. While most of that seemed interesting, I didn't have total peace about it.
*We got a call about one of my pregnant cousins. The Dr.s told her that her baby may have Down syndrome. They may be weighing out their options. (Later we found out differently.) Right then and there, I said "That's it. We'll adopt the baby." From then on I knew God wanted us to adopt a baby/child with Downs. (I will write another post about how God changed my heart in that direction.)
*I talked more and more about adopting to hubby. He wasn't budging. He'd politely listened like I listened to his hunting stories.
*As adopting was REALLY weighing on my heart and not on hubby's, I cried out to God to change his heart or take this heavy burden away. I prayed this over and over and over.
*Hubby started to seem more interested, ask pointed questions about adopting, about down syndrome, etc. He was so interested I told him more than once, "Why don't you just say yes, you're so close." I really thought he was going to say yes.
*The kids knew I wanted to adopt and at one point a few years ago they did too. Then they weren't too hip with the whole idea, especially the Down syndrome part.
*I tried and tried to get involved volunteering with people/kids with special needs. With no luck. Until my dear friend gave me a number of a family here who have 5 special needs kids (4 adopted). We met. I got involved with Special Olympics. God confirmed that love for kids with Downs. Our son has even taken a liking to two of the boys. We talk about one them all of the time. He is a character!
*About 4 weeks ago, hubby changed his mind. I was devastated. Ready to give it up. I cried. I went for a drive. I begged God to change one of our hearts. I couldn't bear to carry this weight around if it wasn't going to happen.
*July 2nd, hubby and I went for a drive. He told me that God moved on his heart during my grandpa's funeral and yes we can adopt. I have to be honest here. I didn't get all excited, kiss him or anything. I was shocked. He had just said no three weeks earlier. I kept asking him, "You're for real?" "You're not going to change your mind?" He was for real.
We told the kids the on Wednesday. They knew it was coming. They had mixed reactions. But I have already seen God move on their hearts prior to this. So I know He'll move even more.
So, why adopt? Why us? Why now, when we are in our 40's or very close to it? Why "mess up" our life?
Why not?
Please follow our adventure in this whole process.
Fast forward, to marriage. Hubby knew going into our marriage that adoption was something I would like to do and we talked about it here and there. Most of the time it wasn't something real in depth, more just two people in love talking about things they'd like to do. Dreaming, some would call it.
This is the part where it gets hard to explain without writing a book. So I may just do point statements as to how God changed/worked on our hearts.
*The need to adopt became strong, for me, again about a year ago.
*I was really trying to figure out what God wanted for my life. Where He wanted me to go. I know I wanted to help people, preferably special needs kids.
*I wanted to adopt. Hubby didn't.
*I started checking into going to school and getting a degree. While most of that seemed interesting, I didn't have total peace about it.
*We got a call about one of my pregnant cousins. The Dr.s told her that her baby may have Down syndrome. They may be weighing out their options. (Later we found out differently.) Right then and there, I said "That's it. We'll adopt the baby." From then on I knew God wanted us to adopt a baby/child with Downs. (I will write another post about how God changed my heart in that direction.)
*I talked more and more about adopting to hubby. He wasn't budging. He'd politely listened like I listened to his hunting stories.
*As adopting was REALLY weighing on my heart and not on hubby's, I cried out to God to change his heart or take this heavy burden away. I prayed this over and over and over.
*Hubby started to seem more interested, ask pointed questions about adopting, about down syndrome, etc. He was so interested I told him more than once, "Why don't you just say yes, you're so close." I really thought he was going to say yes.
*The kids knew I wanted to adopt and at one point a few years ago they did too. Then they weren't too hip with the whole idea, especially the Down syndrome part.
*I tried and tried to get involved volunteering with people/kids with special needs. With no luck. Until my dear friend gave me a number of a family here who have 5 special needs kids (4 adopted). We met. I got involved with Special Olympics. God confirmed that love for kids with Downs. Our son has even taken a liking to two of the boys. We talk about one them all of the time. He is a character!
*About 4 weeks ago, hubby changed his mind. I was devastated. Ready to give it up. I cried. I went for a drive. I begged God to change one of our hearts. I couldn't bear to carry this weight around if it wasn't going to happen.
*July 2nd, hubby and I went for a drive. He told me that God moved on his heart during my grandpa's funeral and yes we can adopt. I have to be honest here. I didn't get all excited, kiss him or anything. I was shocked. He had just said no three weeks earlier. I kept asking him, "You're for real?" "You're not going to change your mind?" He was for real.
We told the kids the on Wednesday. They knew it was coming. They had mixed reactions. But I have already seen God move on their hearts prior to this. So I know He'll move even more.
So, why adopt? Why us? Why now, when we are in our 40's or very close to it? Why "mess up" our life?
Why not?
Please follow our adventure in this whole process.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
The Candy Lady
Everything on the LO is by Sahlin Studio.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
BIG Announcement!!!
Some of you know already.
Some of you probably suspect this news.
Some will be surprised.
Some of you prayed along with me for this.
I can't tell you how this news fills my heart.
Without further ado...because I can't wait any longer...
God has answered many prayers and I know He will keep answering!
Adopting a baby/child with Down Syndrome is our hearts desire.
Some of you probably suspect this news.
Some will be surprised.
Some of you prayed along with me for this.
I can't tell you how this news fills my heart.
Without further ado...because I can't wait any longer...
Adopting a baby/child with Down Syndrome is our hearts desire.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Grandpa
This past Monday my grandpa passed away.
He was a hard working man whose life was family and helping others.
The above photo is of my grandparents at my dedication.
They had six kids...
22 grandchildren (8 are present in this photo) and almost 16 great-grandchildren.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Special Olympics-Softball
This is my new friend Ms. L. She so fits the saying "Wouldn't hurt a fly." We warmed up before the "game" tossing the ball back and forth.
I don't now this gentleman. His daughter/granddaughter helped him to get first base. Everyone got to get to first base.
To explain this video: The taller young man (teen) needed someone with him. He gets distracted very easily. The other young man (teen) took full control with such maturity and grace. Lead him around the bases with a totally understanding of what it means to help and support. Although they only got to first. The compassion was not lost to me. It a powerful sight to watch.
Friday, June 22, 2012
The Baby We Prayed For - Going Home
part a, part b, part c, part d
Going back home was surreal to say the least. Our house seemed emptier than before. Quieter. Robert and I feel onto our bed and cried. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry. He tells me that it was the first time I really cried since this whole ordeal happened. Cry I did. My poor eyelids weren't just puffy, they actually bruised a little. Only one other time in my life have I cried so hard that my eyelids bruised. During our first hours alone Robert did something that helped glue our young marriage even tighter together. With the gentleness and care of a nursemaid he helped dress me. He patiently took waited as I sat on the edge of our bed slowly putting one leg into my dark blue shorts and then another. He was down on his knees filled with love and care. It was like nothing else mattered, like we had all of the time in the world.
Neither of us could escape the constant sound of monitors beeping. Paige's heart monitor. We hadn't realized just how present those monitors in the hospital were until then. For the next few days that beep, beep, beep would play over and over in my ears and heart. It was a sound we wished we could stop. That same beeping would sound in my eardrums every now and then over the following months.
My mom and Grandma drove across state lines to come see us. I don't remember just how long they stayed. They cooked, cleaned, answered the phone, made sure I ate. It did me good to have then with us. They helped as much as they could. How do you take your daughters pain away? How do you help heal her grief? They did it the best way they could, by mothering me.
Meals were brought over the next week. Tears were shed over the babies we each had lost and the hope of life moving on was planted. I can't tell you what we ate, but I remember the faces, the stories and the love. One of my friends made a small embroidery that said Paige in mint green thread and a heart below it. She framed it in a delicate gold frame. That sat on our bookshelf for some time.
Another thing that sticks with me is the way my body reacted. I still had post delivery contractions, that were almost as bad a the real ones and my milk came in. Nothing to relieve them except time. These were both something no one told me would happen. I remember sitting on our rust colored sofa telling Doreen about the contractions. She said they were normal and would go away soon. My contractions stopped and the milk eventually dried up too. Gone were any signs that I was just pregnant. Any signs that we had just had a baby girl.
Going back home was surreal to say the least. Our house seemed emptier than before. Quieter. Robert and I feel onto our bed and cried. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry. He tells me that it was the first time I really cried since this whole ordeal happened. Cry I did. My poor eyelids weren't just puffy, they actually bruised a little. Only one other time in my life have I cried so hard that my eyelids bruised. During our first hours alone Robert did something that helped glue our young marriage even tighter together. With the gentleness and care of a nursemaid he helped dress me. He patiently took waited as I sat on the edge of our bed slowly putting one leg into my dark blue shorts and then another. He was down on his knees filled with love and care. It was like nothing else mattered, like we had all of the time in the world.
Neither of us could escape the constant sound of monitors beeping. Paige's heart monitor. We hadn't realized just how present those monitors in the hospital were until then. For the next few days that beep, beep, beep would play over and over in my ears and heart. It was a sound we wished we could stop. That same beeping would sound in my eardrums every now and then over the following months.
My mom and Grandma drove across state lines to come see us. I don't remember just how long they stayed. They cooked, cleaned, answered the phone, made sure I ate. It did me good to have then with us. They helped as much as they could. How do you take your daughters pain away? How do you help heal her grief? They did it the best way they could, by mothering me.
Meals were brought over the next week. Tears were shed over the babies we each had lost and the hope of life moving on was planted. I can't tell you what we ate, but I remember the faces, the stories and the love. One of my friends made a small embroidery that said Paige in mint green thread and a heart below it. She framed it in a delicate gold frame. That sat on our bookshelf for some time.
Another thing that sticks with me is the way my body reacted. I still had post delivery contractions, that were almost as bad a the real ones and my milk came in. Nothing to relieve them except time. These were both something no one told me would happen. I remember sitting on our rust colored sofa telling Doreen about the contractions. She said they were normal and would go away soon. My contractions stopped and the milk eventually dried up too. Gone were any signs that I was just pregnant. Any signs that we had just had a baby girl.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Random, Just Random
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