As the day comes to a close my heart is full of many emotions and thoughts. I have thought many times throughout my day what to write for this special day. It had to be something fitting, something meaningful, something that would match the historical weight of the day.
This morning as I hung our flag, I said a pray for our country, and her future. I thought about where I was eleven years ago feeding our kids breakfast glued to the radio. Every 9/11 I remember that day, as we all do. Today came with a stronger weight.
I went about my day, pretty typical, probably like most Americans.
Then tonight it was all brought back, full circle, if you will. Hubby and I went for our walk and came upon people gathering for a memorial service. We kept on walking, feeling like outsiders. Then as we were driving away, traffic stopped, people stopped, time stopped as firetruck after firetruck, drove passed with the lights on. It hit me again in my gut and in my heart. The weight of today.
This 9/11 is different to me then the rest. The weight of the election is on us all. I normally don't get up on my soapbox and get all political in this blog. However, today I can't keep silent. Today, I owe it to the men and women who have lost their lives one way or another for our country. I wish I had the ability to write in such a way to convince even one of my readers to vote for freedom. To vote for the rights of unborn babies, to vote for liberty, for limited government, for the sanctity of marriage, for freedom of religion, to vote to protect the money my husband and yours works so hard for. To vote in a way that my children will have a future we have worked hard for them to have. I could go on and on, only to bore you, but oh, that my words would persuade you. Though I don't think that highly of myself as to compete with the media. Vote not for a certain race or against it. This is not what it is about, but to protect America and her people, our people. America can't keep going down the current path much longer. Please don't stay home because to vote will only mean to vote for the lesser of two evils. Vote because we need to protect our country, our children and their future. If only my words truly held the weight fitting for today.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Labor Day Weekend
It was great to see them.
We went to the zoo.
Celebrated M's birthday.
Had a girls day out in the mountains. We window shopped , had dinner and then watched a melodrama.
We did more, but that's for another post!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Why Down syndrome
The whole process of wanting children with Down syndrome has God's hand all over it.
In elementary school I was in a drill team that meet at a local park ever Sat. A group of people/kids with Down syndrome met there too. I would occassionaly see them. They made me feel uncomfortable. I was unsure what to think and react.
Some time growing up I remember my dad and step-mom talking about adopting child with Ds. I flashed back to the images I had and thought "No! I don't want a brother or sister with Ds."
I began getting into the world of blogs and came across a couple of bloggers who's DD had Ds. Reading their stories REALLY changed my heart. What I saw was beautiful baby girls who were a blessing. I saw the love there family had for them. I learned about Ds itself some through their stories.
I got directed to Reece's Rainbow and checked it out a couple of times.
I started reading more and more about Ds.
A call about a cousin whose baby may have Ds, changed my heart for good. (The baby is totally fine.)
I started looking more and more at the beautiful faces on Reece's Rainbow and started falling in love, praying for them, calling some of them my Jimmy, my Bogden, etc.
The burden was heavy on my heart. I searched and search for ways to be around people/kids with Ds. Finally I was able to volunteer with Special Olmpics. And met some amazing people. All that was in my heart was confirmed.
To me they are beautiful.
Hubby didn't take as long as me to fall ing love with people/kids with Ds. He has fallen in love with all of the cuties I have been putting on our pc.
God was faithfully softening my heart all of these years. Had my hubby said yes to adoption years ago, children with Ds were no where on our hearts. It is God's hand that we have waited this long. It was me who had to change, not hubby this whole time.
In elementary school I was in a drill team that meet at a local park ever Sat. A group of people/kids with Down syndrome met there too. I would occassionaly see them. They made me feel uncomfortable. I was unsure what to think and react.
Some time growing up I remember my dad and step-mom talking about adopting child with Ds. I flashed back to the images I had and thought "No! I don't want a brother or sister with Ds."
I began getting into the world of blogs and came across a couple of bloggers who's DD had Ds. Reading their stories REALLY changed my heart. What I saw was beautiful baby girls who were a blessing. I saw the love there family had for them. I learned about Ds itself some through their stories.
I got directed to Reece's Rainbow and checked it out a couple of times.
I started reading more and more about Ds.
A call about a cousin whose baby may have Ds, changed my heart for good. (The baby is totally fine.)
I started looking more and more at the beautiful faces on Reece's Rainbow and started falling in love, praying for them, calling some of them my Jimmy, my Bogden, etc.
The burden was heavy on my heart. I searched and search for ways to be around people/kids with Ds. Finally I was able to volunteer with Special Olmpics. And met some amazing people. All that was in my heart was confirmed.
To me they are beautiful.
Hubby didn't take as long as me to fall ing love with people/kids with Ds. He has fallen in love with all of the cuties I have been putting on our pc.
God was faithfully softening my heart all of these years. Had my hubby said yes to adoption years ago, children with Ds were no where on our hearts. It is God's hand that we have waited this long. It was me who had to change, not hubby this whole time.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Catching up
Sorry to have neglected my blog for so long. Life has been beyond full and busy.
So, here is a short catch up.
I think I finally found a diet plan that works for me!
I have cut carbs (the bad ones) and sugars almost out. Easier then I thought.
When I do eat too much of them (which isn't much) my tummy feels yucky.
Basically here's what I eat:
Bkft: oat bran and oatmeal mixed, sweetened with honey and cinnamon.
Lunch: A shake-plain yogurt, flax milk, a handful or two of spinach, bananas, papaya, and other fruit that around and a handful of peanuts.
Snack: a granola bar or something healthy
Dinner: Pretty much a healthy dinner.
If I "eat" for lunch I will drink the shake for dinner.
Believe me I have cheated plenty of times, but for the most part I follow this.
I have also been very faithful to exercising.
I mainly walk at least a mile and a half five times a week. Many times I walk double that. I do run and am doing more of it! I have yet to get the runners high, but know it is good for me. So that pushes me on. I try to change up where I walk. The mornings have been the best for me.
I have lost almost 10 lbs. in three months sticking to this plan! I would love to loss another 10.
In other news, God has been moving.
We needed to get a bigger table. We were able to switch our table for a bigger one with a friend! Now we have more room for the child we will be adopting! Total win-win situation. I don't know if I told you but a few months ago someone gave us a car!!! TOTAL blessing!
As far as the adoption is concerned:
We are done with our training!!! We had our last class last night.
It was so nice to walk into the room knowing that we are done with this part of the process.
Overall, we learned a lot. There was just so much. If you go through the training and still want to adopt you are really serious. They really push fostering and that is a whole blog in itself!
We met some really nice folks and are going to be getting together with them. We want to see how their journey turns out.
Here's what we have done:
apply
finer prints
training
background check
references coming back
Here's what we still need to do:
homestudy
exams
(I think that's it.)
The whole process can be an emotional one. For me the biggest "thing" is the unknown.
Not knowing who our child will be, when they will come, how they are going to act, how old, what developmental level, the whole down syndrome...
God is good and He is in control.
School is back in session and we have changed it up a bit.
The kids are still studying at home, just differently.
DD is studying for her GED and DS is doing distance learning.
So far so good.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Impact
When I came home these were on the table.
A lady at church brought them while I was out. She and I had a good talk about living for God and pushing it through on Sunday morning. Never know when your words make impact.
The flowers are so much sweeter from someone else.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
around here
preparing to make peach cobbler. we got blessed with a bunch of peaches.
went through the home school stuff and trying to sell almost everything.
you all know what this is...;)
hand washed the jean rug i have been working on.
what i have been reading.
this phone and i have had a close relationship today.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
In an ideal world
I have heard more than once that having children "naturally" is much easier than adopting.
While so far it hasn't been harder, it is definitely a different journey.
In an ideal world, two people fall in love, marry and start a family. When you're pregnant you know where your baby is, you know, about, when you will get to meet him or her.
I find myself thinking about our child somewhere out there.
I pray that he/she is safe, not hungry, not scared.
I pray that it won't be too long of a wait until we get matched and get to pick up our child, for all of our sakes.
In an ideal world, there is you and your spouse in the whole bringing a child into the world and your lives process. Throw in a doctor or two.
With adoption, there's a whole bunch of people. People who have your paperwork sitting on their desk, etc.
You have to pass the ball back and forth, hoping they don't drop it along the way.
In an ideal world, there wouldn't be any adoptions.
It hit me that we are benefiting from others misfortunes.
Another thing is when you have a baby, most of the time people are happy for you. They don't say "Oh, that's great that you are pregnant..." and try to up the anty one or two notches.
When adopting they do. "Oh, that's great that you're adopting and you want a child with Down syndrome. Would you take a child with (name any form mild to severe handicap, mental and physical)?" They proceed to make you feel guilty for not wanting to open your arms to any and every situation.
Here's where my relationship with God and hubby come in.
I know God has called us to raise Down syndrome children. I have tried to shake it and can't.
I know He has a child for us already.
I know He will keep that child safe and give us what we need for that child.
My hubby is my anchor.
He is keeping me focused and not feeling guilty for not taking in every child they offer.
As he put it, "I can't see us having a typical child. I see us with a child with Downs."
I am glad I can trust God and rely on my hubby.
While so far it hasn't been harder, it is definitely a different journey.
In an ideal world, two people fall in love, marry and start a family. When you're pregnant you know where your baby is, you know, about, when you will get to meet him or her.
I find myself thinking about our child somewhere out there.
I pray that he/she is safe, not hungry, not scared.
I pray that it won't be too long of a wait until we get matched and get to pick up our child, for all of our sakes.
In an ideal world, there is you and your spouse in the whole bringing a child into the world and your lives process. Throw in a doctor or two.
With adoption, there's a whole bunch of people. People who have your paperwork sitting on their desk, etc.
You have to pass the ball back and forth, hoping they don't drop it along the way.
In an ideal world, there wouldn't be any adoptions.
It hit me that we are benefiting from others misfortunes.
Another thing is when you have a baby, most of the time people are happy for you. They don't say "Oh, that's great that you are pregnant..." and try to up the anty one or two notches.
When adopting they do. "Oh, that's great that you're adopting and you want a child with Down syndrome. Would you take a child with (name any form mild to severe handicap, mental and physical)?" They proceed to make you feel guilty for not wanting to open your arms to any and every situation.
Here's where my relationship with God and hubby come in.
I know God has called us to raise Down syndrome children. I have tried to shake it and can't.
I know He has a child for us already.
I know He will keep that child safe and give us what we need for that child.
My hubby is my anchor.
He is keeping me focused and not feeling guilty for not taking in every child they offer.
As he put it, "I can't see us having a typical child. I see us with a child with Downs."
I am glad I can trust God and rely on my hubby.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
what can i say?
I have some nuggets about the adoption process I need to jot down, but it is late and I need to be in bed.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Common Myths
This post is inspire by a conversation I recently had with a lady about Down syndrome. I believed some of these myths myself. From doing research, talking to a mom of three children with Downs and being around them what I found surprised and delighted me.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome have severe mental retardation.
FACT: Most people with Down syndrome have only mild to moderate mental retardation. Individuals with Down syndrome have IQ scores of 30 to 60, but much variation exists. More important than IQ scores is the fact that all individuals with Down syndrome are capable of learning. (I was under the impression that people with Downs have a mentality of an eight year old for the rest of their lives. WRONG!!)
MYTH: People with Down Syndrome will live at home forever.
FACT: A large percentage of adults with Down syndrome live semi-independently in assisted living facilities and group homes. Adults with Down syndrome often hold jobs and have romantic relationships.
MYTH: Most children with Down syndrome are born to older parents.
FACT: Over 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under the age of 35, and the average age of a mother of an infant with Down syndrome is 28 years.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome all have their tongue out and their mouth open.
FACT: Not so. The reason for the open mouth is not a lack of intelligence, rather a lack of muscle.
There are many more videos on Downs on YouTube.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome have severe mental retardation.
FACT: Most people with Down syndrome have only mild to moderate mental retardation. Individuals with Down syndrome have IQ scores of 30 to 60, but much variation exists. More important than IQ scores is the fact that all individuals with Down syndrome are capable of learning. (I was under the impression that people with Downs have a mentality of an eight year old for the rest of their lives. WRONG!!)
MYTH: People with Down Syndrome will live at home forever.
FACT: A large percentage of adults with Down syndrome live semi-independently in assisted living facilities and group homes. Adults with Down syndrome often hold jobs and have romantic relationships.
MYTH: Most children with Down syndrome are born to older parents.
FACT: Over 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under the age of 35, and the average age of a mother of an infant with Down syndrome is 28 years.
MYTH: People with Down syndrome all have their tongue out and their mouth open.
FACT: Not so. The reason for the open mouth is not a lack of intelligence, rather a lack of muscle.
There are many more videos on Downs on YouTube.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
How it All Got Started
Not everyone is up for adopting. For me it started at around age ten. My cousin James was in the hospital. Why, I don't remember. What I do remember is his roommate was a baby with all of his limbs broken. I just kept talking to him, touching him, etc. I didn't even pay attention to my cousin. (Sorry James.) I asked my mom what happened to the baby. She said that his mom (a big woman) sat in him and broke his limbs. Whether that was the real story or not I asked my mom if we could take him home. Of course we couldn't. The baby never left my heart. How could someone do that to a baby? I felt so helpless.
Fast forward, to marriage. Hubby knew going into our marriage that adoption was something I would like to do and we talked about it here and there. Most of the time it wasn't something real in depth, more just two people in love talking about things they'd like to do. Dreaming, some would call it.
This is the part where it gets hard to explain without writing a book. So I may just do point statements as to how God changed/worked on our hearts.
*The need to adopt became strong, for me, again about a year ago.
*I was really trying to figure out what God wanted for my life. Where He wanted me to go. I know I wanted to help people, preferably special needs kids.
*I wanted to adopt. Hubby didn't.
*I started checking into going to school and getting a degree. While most of that seemed interesting, I didn't have total peace about it.
*We got a call about one of my pregnant cousins. The Dr.s told her that her baby may have Down syndrome. They may be weighing out their options. (Later we found out differently.) Right then and there, I said "That's it. We'll adopt the baby." From then on I knew God wanted us to adopt a baby/child with Downs. (I will write another post about how God changed my heart in that direction.)
*I talked more and more about adopting to hubby. He wasn't budging. He'd politely listened like I listened to his hunting stories.
*As adopting was REALLY weighing on my heart and not on hubby's, I cried out to God to change his heart or take this heavy burden away. I prayed this over and over and over.
*Hubby started to seem more interested, ask pointed questions about adopting, about down syndrome, etc. He was so interested I told him more than once, "Why don't you just say yes, you're so close." I really thought he was going to say yes.
*The kids knew I wanted to adopt and at one point a few years ago they did too. Then they weren't too hip with the whole idea, especially the Down syndrome part.
*I tried and tried to get involved volunteering with people/kids with special needs. With no luck. Until my dear friend gave me a number of a family here who have 5 special needs kids (4 adopted). We met. I got involved with Special Olympics. God confirmed that love for kids with Downs. Our son has even taken a liking to two of the boys. We talk about one them all of the time. He is a character!
*About 4 weeks ago, hubby changed his mind. I was devastated. Ready to give it up. I cried. I went for a drive. I begged God to change one of our hearts. I couldn't bear to carry this weight around if it wasn't going to happen.
*July 2nd, hubby and I went for a drive. He told me that God moved on his heart during my grandpa's funeral and yes we can adopt. I have to be honest here. I didn't get all excited, kiss him or anything. I was shocked. He had just said no three weeks earlier. I kept asking him, "You're for real?" "You're not going to change your mind?" He was for real.
We told the kids the on Wednesday. They knew it was coming. They had mixed reactions. But I have already seen God move on their hearts prior to this. So I know He'll move even more.
So, why adopt? Why us? Why now, when we are in our 40's or very close to it? Why "mess up" our life?
Why not?
Please follow our adventure in this whole process.
Fast forward, to marriage. Hubby knew going into our marriage that adoption was something I would like to do and we talked about it here and there. Most of the time it wasn't something real in depth, more just two people in love talking about things they'd like to do. Dreaming, some would call it.
This is the part where it gets hard to explain without writing a book. So I may just do point statements as to how God changed/worked on our hearts.
*The need to adopt became strong, for me, again about a year ago.
*I was really trying to figure out what God wanted for my life. Where He wanted me to go. I know I wanted to help people, preferably special needs kids.
*I wanted to adopt. Hubby didn't.
*I started checking into going to school and getting a degree. While most of that seemed interesting, I didn't have total peace about it.
*We got a call about one of my pregnant cousins. The Dr.s told her that her baby may have Down syndrome. They may be weighing out their options. (Later we found out differently.) Right then and there, I said "That's it. We'll adopt the baby." From then on I knew God wanted us to adopt a baby/child with Downs. (I will write another post about how God changed my heart in that direction.)
*I talked more and more about adopting to hubby. He wasn't budging. He'd politely listened like I listened to his hunting stories.
*As adopting was REALLY weighing on my heart and not on hubby's, I cried out to God to change his heart or take this heavy burden away. I prayed this over and over and over.
*Hubby started to seem more interested, ask pointed questions about adopting, about down syndrome, etc. He was so interested I told him more than once, "Why don't you just say yes, you're so close." I really thought he was going to say yes.
*The kids knew I wanted to adopt and at one point a few years ago they did too. Then they weren't too hip with the whole idea, especially the Down syndrome part.
*I tried and tried to get involved volunteering with people/kids with special needs. With no luck. Until my dear friend gave me a number of a family here who have 5 special needs kids (4 adopted). We met. I got involved with Special Olympics. God confirmed that love for kids with Downs. Our son has even taken a liking to two of the boys. We talk about one them all of the time. He is a character!
*About 4 weeks ago, hubby changed his mind. I was devastated. Ready to give it up. I cried. I went for a drive. I begged God to change one of our hearts. I couldn't bear to carry this weight around if it wasn't going to happen.
*July 2nd, hubby and I went for a drive. He told me that God moved on his heart during my grandpa's funeral and yes we can adopt. I have to be honest here. I didn't get all excited, kiss him or anything. I was shocked. He had just said no three weeks earlier. I kept asking him, "You're for real?" "You're not going to change your mind?" He was for real.
We told the kids the on Wednesday. They knew it was coming. They had mixed reactions. But I have already seen God move on their hearts prior to this. So I know He'll move even more.
So, why adopt? Why us? Why now, when we are in our 40's or very close to it? Why "mess up" our life?
Why not?
Please follow our adventure in this whole process.
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