Hopefully this will come out right and not scattered.
Pioneering has been on my mind lately, mainly because I see what people I love give up, lay down and go through. (At least from what they'll let on or can't hide.)
Pioneering is one of those words that has brought, for me, many feelings. When we first came to the church and learned about going out and starting a church, I wanted to go. I wanted to reach people beyond myself, to be used by God in that way. Hubby, didn't see it the same. He didn't want to go, didn't feel "called" to preach. Honestly, I wrestled with that for a LONG time. My hubby was firm and didn't let me make him called and thank God for that for so many reasons. I have learned to be completely content in staying here and sending others out. Staying has not always been easy and my heart sometimes is sometimes tugged away. Staying and taking hits as a church, so those who are out have somewhere to anchor themselves to though worth it has a price. Putting off our wants to so others can go. Attending and throwing going away party after party. Hearing the accolades of others sung while we stay hasn't always been the best for my pride. "We send our best" being said many times over the pulpit can minimize being a pillar. Being pitied because my husband isn't called, like it's any less to stay. Sometimes things can seem like the men who are called to go get better grooming. Now we have had pastors who have lifted up those who stay, acknowledged the need and rightful place of pillars and senders. I thank God for those men. I have asked myself could I do that, live there, etc. for God and for others. But it's not about me, it's about souls. Souls take sacrifice, for those who stay and those who go. While I may never go out and may never fully understand pioneering, I truly respect those who go (and those who stay).
Pioneering is also sacrifice.
I see my brother, his wife and three kids, who I miss terribly. While my brother was never one to "settle" in one place, and the type who loves adventure, I see the weight of taking his kids and wife "out there", starting over. I hear the toll of taking over a church, working a full time job, keeping up with life can be sometimes over the phone. The apology (that word seems lacking), in my SIL's voice and face of living on a pioneer's salary and having family over for holidays. Things that many of us take for granted simply need to wait or to be not even on the radar.
I see my dear friend and her family. They had one of the "nicer" ones in our church. Her hubby had one of the best paying jobs in our church. They're at the age to get settled in, not to start over. I was there as her walls were lined with packed boxes, both of us crying. Fears, doubts running through her mind. They had gone out before and were about to take the chance at it again. I read her blog and see her teeny stove, her paneled walls, the little things that can make a big difference. I see her hubby, working a much lower paying job. My admiration for them grows everyday.
I read about pioneering on another blog and am reminded of how real this all is. How much people are willing to give up for the call of God, for others.
Pioneering is a blessing.
The pride and peace I have knowing my brother is saved and doing God's will. The depth of my niece's understanding of souls for her age. The joy my nieces and nephew have despite the things they "lack". The stability they have as a family. The maturity my brother has. The strength of my SIL. The depth of their walk with God. The things they have gained are not things. I see my friend who has kept her joy, her compassion for people. The way God has blessed them in ways He couldn't have if they weren't obedient. I see the smiles on her kids faces. They humble me.
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of him that brings good tidings, that publishes peace; that brings good tidings of good, that publishes salvation; that said to Zion, Your God reigns! Isaiah 52:7